Black and White

Thou leaned on me, Beauty's propriety,
Laid thine bosom on my virgin canvas,
With the soothing lash of thine Love,
Painted my heart with chromes of desire.
Wherefrom didst come thou, I know not;
When with the stroke of thy tresses coloured
Me from the wonted black and white,
I remember not! Spersed thou me
With thine masterful caress, harvesting joy
On the grim visage, suffusing myriads of smiles.
Lores of thine charm take fathoms and volumes
That my fraily paley gab cannot lone spell,
Come rest on my words, thou Muse of Helicon,
Sail with me on these thine own rivulets of ink,
Alas! Thine hour has lapsed, gone hast thou!
But gone hast thou too soon out of the blue.
Me minus thee is hueless, breathless, lifeless.
Frozenness surrounds me, its shreds shudder me,
Tears erase me, ah thine very own me
Fades brack, black, back to black and white.

Snippet

Love bridges miles apart.

The dream-roll

The window on the roadside creaks and opens. She dusts off the webs of idle desire that had long before nested on those untouched bars. A sneeze rests on her nose, but is adamant on the stay, much like the dreams she salved from the sun and the sweat, the fret and the froth, the rain and the rust. Before cocooning back to the quietness of her tiny abode, her grey eyes greet the early rays of the sun. They seem to whisper to her: "we carpet the day before you, stride forth!" As she turns back with a subtle smile, the spider has begun to play with its craft over again ...

Were I ...

                    Were I a rainbow, I'd spread my hues over your snowy sky...

black out

the smiles fade
the colours blur
letters vanish
tides missing
canvas empty
sun sets
my eyes close
my eyes open
they blink
flick
i click
google
fear
where are you
where am i
where is the Light

Doorsteps

I stand by your doorsteps here
Knocking hard at the door I am.
No one answers, and
It gives a blank stare back at me.
Puzzled, I halt- turn to go back,
My legs both numb,
"Stay" - says my inner voice
And so do I.
I had to. I loved you.
Days wither, starving me for you. Me-
At your doorsteps, alone by my shadow.
Oft I stagger. Today I swoon-
Die I may tomorrow. Die, yet
Would last wish my eyes not blink
As they stare at the open door
And you beside me- huh!
That'd be but my last dream
At your doorsteps.
The revelation dawns on me.
Die, but next to impossible would
Anymore of my dreams be for you!
The trembling hands bag the dreams
And the waning feet pace back
To my place of being:
They have to. You never loved me.
Die, yet would my struggle be
Between life and death, love and pain.
No more of you will be.
Die, and would die my own life
Mine own-
Not having to pay regrets to you.
Die, but not at your doorsteps.


Pssst...: An old poem of 2008

Love flags

From my firm clasp I wanna let you go,
Let you go of my binding love.
So hard it is for you and me-
Many a time our minds juxtapose
Or our love claims authority,
And much painful when so, its cruel fetters
Chain us together in its tangles
Inescapable; we find it oft irremovable.
Love flags freedom in its genitive pinions,
Love flags soar high in their freedom-
One of reciprocation.
This bond I assure will never be a shackle,
I'll let you go, but
I promise you our love forever will remain...

Passing by...

I strut stupefied in the corridors that I once
thought were solely mine; but my foreboded
fears have taken their toll; it's now final
that I barely belong to these homely halls.
Why then do I flip my flimsy thoughts
over this that I now unown?
Time, that nasty, naughty fellow snaps, creaks
And buhahaas on my ignoble ignorance;
We both 'tis true, had a stupid stake-
Who will win- he or me?
Foolish and frantic I try running away.
Lo! But who's holding me back, back, back?
Let me go, get lost
with my tear-wet reminiscences...
Oh let not bind me with your blinding
bonds anymore...
Let me turn to lend a lean look
at what I have left behind
and what has left me behind...

Psst: I haven't done a 're-vision' on these lines, I merely wanted to ventilate my impulsive and mixed emotions, having bid adieu to the loveliest phase of my college life... :-(
Tears, Little Wing

The Ethereal

 The Ethereal
- I write this, to her...

I see the stranger strolling along the dusky street in
Pensive; her bare feet caressing the beaded frills
Of her couture ramped quietly on the raw pavement,
Led enticed as though by a magic wand in its flick,
Or by the paining strums of a guitar stringbroken;
The sulk in her grey eyes I can see well so veiled
The ring on her annualry, pearled and betrothed.
Eyes those sunk, engrossed in the perhaps moot
Heating up inside her- Could I, the unseen beholder
From all my ignorance void, wild and wide, so probe
It an unfaithful guilt over an undesired nuptial,
Or an unfulfilled dream over a non-dream?-
Cynthia smiles as my fancy tosses its thoughts,
While she on and on moves, where to unawares,
Wanes into the Abysmal, Unfathomable, Unseen,
And I slip back into my cold ole nothingness...

The future roads :-)

Fair is everything that life carpets before us as a future. The only trouble is that, whatever we may dream or plan, it is uncertain, dim and perhaps the result beyond all predictions. So then how would you term it, when you head on but you can't really see which way have you taken to reach that final destination you're supposed to be at? Thrilling, adventurous or frightening? As for me, it is neither of these, to complete defining that feeling. I feel it just as blank as a stare... :-)

Stranger in Moscow - MJ

Watch it on:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfwccN7_ufI

 I was wandering in the rain
Mask of life, feelin' insane
Swift and sudden fall from grace
Sunny days seem far away
Kremlin's shadow belittlin' me
Stalin's tomb won't let me be
On and on and on it came
Wish the rain would just let me

How does it feel (How does it feel)
How does it feel
How does it feel
When you're alone
And you're cold inside

Here abandoned in my fame
Armageddon of the brain
KGB was doggin' me
Take my name and just let me be
Then a begger boy called my name
Happy days will drown the pain
On and on and on it came
And again, and again, and again...
Take my name and just let me be

How does it feel (How does it feel)
How does it feel
How does it feel
How does it feel
How does it feel (How does it feel now)
How does it feel
How does it feel
When you're alone
And you're cold inside

How does it feel (How does it feel)
How does it feel
How does it feel
How does it feel
How does it feel (How does it feel now)
How does it feel
How does it feel
When you're alone
And you're cold inside

Like stranger in Moscow
Lord have mercy
Like stranger in Moscow
Lord have mercy
We're talkin' danger
We're talkin' danger, baby
Like stranger in Moscow
We're talkin' danger
We're talkin' danger, baby
Like stranger in Moscow
I'm livin' lonely
I'm livin' lonely, baby
Stranger in Moscow

Missing you, Michael :-(

It seems that the world has finally given some love to Michael. I say this in the light of the eventful one year that has just passed after the Legend left us forever. There has not been a single day without touching a news or memoir on MJ ever since the black day that I lament. To love and to do things in memory of a lost beloved is sensible I agree, but wouldn't loving and understanding him when he was alive be the best we could ever have gifted him? The past is gone yeah, I know but I just wanted to turn it inside out again...With all these movie productions, album re-releases, memoirs, dedications and television broadcasts of his music and what nots ushering incessantly, I think that Michael must now be smiling; and I really hope he'd always be. He was a Man who exuded blood through his music, instead of tears for all the scandals and accusations. I do not want to meddle with the truth of the things that I as his distant listener have heard and known. Good or not whether these thoughts are, I really don't know. I ponder on this because the world had indeed once failed to give him all this, while he lived and loved to live. I, as a girl who grew all my years up listening to him, attached so sentimentally and emotionally to his music, wish to imagine how elated and affirmed he as a Person- and not just as a Classic Musician- would have felt, had he then received half of the love as of now, rather than half of the monetary gains that his all-time-hits bag now.. And it is then I ask with a sigh, why is it always that we fail to see the worth of a person while he is with us, and only start paining over his loss when it's too late to be undone? Michael Jackson is irreplaceable and the void is felt so badly...But I assert its true: he still lives- through his moon-walking music, our memories, and the love I had for him unsaid...

I miss you, and I love you, Michael...


 This song of yours, I sing for you...

Ben, the two of us need look no more
We both found what we were looking for
With a friend to call my own
I'll never be alone
And you my friend will see
You've got a friend in me

Ben, you're always running here and there
You feel you're not wanted anywhere
If you ever look behind
And don't like what you find
There's something you should know
You've got a place to go

I used to say "I" and "me"
Now it's "us", now it's "we"
I used to say "I" and "me"
Now it's "us", now it's "we"

Ben, most people would turn you away
I don't listen to a word they say
They don't see you as I do
I wish they would try to
I'm sure they'd think again
If they had a friend like Ben...

Pearls of love

The distant lamps in pearl, white and gold
Necklacing the misty horizon winked
At the girl on train by the window;
The full moon didn't miss her eyes,
He mirrored and glowed her glances
And sojourned with her all night;
The stars decked the romance well
As the cool breeze lulled her sleepy eyes,
And she fell into the fathoms of dreams...

(@ 20:00; 29.04.2010; Sabari Express, a beautiful night scene passed by in AP)

Snippet

You feel God the nearest, when you are the farthest from the world!

- Little Wing

Blackberry is not so black then uh!

"Do what you love, love what you do!"

The quote is much familiar now because Blackberry has taken it as its new motto. But truly, it fills with a new zest to work on your dreams, doesn't it?
Blackberry is not so black then uh!

Tailpiece:

Jeff Mallett, who is supposed to have originally uttered these words, did so in this way:

"Do what you love, love what you do, leave the world a better place and don't pick your nose."

God's ways are not our ways, His ways are always the best.

Life is never smooth always, though we all would love it the other way. When but life goes "bad" and "wrong", we need to re-think. If you believe that God has created you not by an accident, but by a mighty plan, then you must have already experienced and felt the following thoughts. I'm just re-affirming my faith in the power of my Redeemer in this note.

The Lord is always there to take care of you, no matter how life goes -white or black, fair or dark. Things do happen in fact in His supervision and vigil. Even when Job was put to test by satan, it was by His permission. God permits trials in our life along with times of fair weather. When He promises that "I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5), He means to abide with us no matter where and how we are. This promise is eternal. The only condition is that you have to believe Him completely, trust and have faith in His Love, and live Holy. When once you recognize His abundant love that cares for and goes with you always, you will never look back or leave His side either. When but you enter into a true relationship with God, all your selfish interests fade away. Even as you pray, you mostly always forget about your own list of requests, because you get filled and anointed with God's own Holy Spirit. Oh, what a privilege! Your range of thinking widens gradually, and you experience something you've never felt before: a feeling of identification and kinship with the whole of the universe. When God touches you, and when "anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" (II Corinthians 5:17). This doesn't also mean that the road of life is gonna be comfortable just because God is with you. Job walked with God and He with him. Yet his life became miserable, which ultimately let his faith to become more strong spiritually and prove his loyalty to God. Even St. Paul had his life never cozy though he had the presence of God's Spirit in him.
"And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure."
(2 Corinthians 12:7)
We should remember that being with God and experiencing His love means much beyond than what our feeble human minds can comprehend. Walking with God means that you are voluntarily preparing yourself to take the Cross and follow Him, not stepping in front of Him nor staying behind. This is evidently something which is not very easy, which requires His grace. But definitely we are assured that even in the most painful moments of trials and tribulations, where the world's power fails, God's grace begins. He is there to lift you up from the deepest abyss that you have fallen in, and save you. His unfading love is the reason why He gave His only begotten Son to die for our sins and save us from eternal death. When you think life goes wrong, or when you think "this is it", believe He is always there seeing what you're going through. Psalms 23 asserts, "though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me."

This is not a fairytale or a myth, for I myself has felt the unending love God has been showering upon me, in all the walks of my life. God's ways are "just and true", His works are always "great and marvelous". We read in 1 Corinthians 2:9-10: "Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him. But God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit: for the Spirit searchest all things, yea, the deep things of God.".
God's ways are not our ways, but His ways are always the best.

Snippet

Catch hold of time before it catches you.

Word of the day

Schwärmerei

Pronunciation: \ˌshver-mə-ˈrī\

Function: noun

Etymology: German Schwärmerei, from schwärmen to be enthusiastic, literally, to swarm

Date: 1845

Meaning: excessive or unwholesome sentiment

http://www.alphadictionary.com/blog/?p=22

Snippet

When once a heart breaks, the wounds may heal sooner or later, but the scars remain forever... Remembered or forgotten, they will still be present deep down there...

Dedicated to my brothers: Jim and Ani

See me please...

 See me please...
-Me

I wander simply there and here,
Going into hiding if now from you,
That when the Light was not;
Or then popping up if then by your side,
That when the Light was.
Proudly love I it when I-
I am your nearest,
And not anyone else,
See how so proudly I hold you
Every mid-day;
A smile curves on my face
When in the misty morning,
I see you wake
From your dreamy slumber;
And then quite longer lingering,
My tear-worn eyes wish
Not to leave, as you
From work sweep the way
Beneath the starred sky, homeward.
I'm but taken away
Into the prison of Time.
All night sleepless there I wait
In the dark,
Out of the void,
Hoping the day would dawn,
Now or in just an hour...
And when it does,
Delighted, I step out in my best
To meet you, darling!
All day questioning
How to put into words
This-
This that forces me to your magnetism.
You always seem to not see me
Sliding the corner of your hand,
Or your feet,
As we walk by
Together,
Everyday.
Or invisible to you, am I ?
Nope. Contradicts it your Physics
If so.
I live by the Light, the Light
From you that diffracts or refracts
Or blah blah- I know not.
Weak my scientific brain is,
Strong but my heart,
That holds you in love.
Shadow of your existence,
One of your life, ain't I?
Why is it that you sense not me?
Pleads me,
Please...why don't you listen?
No no no no, mistake me not:
Not is this a plea for love,
Nor for care, kind,
Your liberal hand?
No!
Just SEE me please,
And once if you do,
As sure my heart holds
This stronger faith,
All the rest will follow,
And I be yours.

Love does remain

When new faces or things come up in life, some may replace the frequency of appearance of the older ones, while admittedly some may not...but love, if true, remains. No matter how far or fast time and distance have swept away in between, true love links the old and the new, all to the same room: our life.

We are the World 25 for Haiti

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Glny4jSciVI

25 yars ago, produced by Quincy Jones and pioneered by Michael Jackson and Lionel Richie, resonated the call for bringing the world under one family...and now as the song is remade by another all-star cast of singers on February 1, 2010 in Hollywood, California, ambivalent emotions surge through me...The proceeds from the record will aid the survivors of the impoverished quake-victimised Haiti. Watching the video spilt tears down my cheeks, on the one hand for all those hapless beings left in Haiti, and on the other, terribly missing MJ...

The legacy of MJ passed on..
Yes! We are the world...
We are the children...
We are one family...
"Athmaupamyam"...
"Tathvamasi"... :-)

kya vahi pyaar hei! :-)

Jab do anjaane raahon se hum toh mile,
ab ye do dil aur rangeen sapne khile...
gumsum raathon mein jhaaye aisi bekhudi,
bichad na de jaaneman, hamare dil ko...
jadoogari hei ya koi nashaa,
voh ehsaas hei, kya vahi pyaar hei!

Khaamosh kyun rahe dhadkan ke honsle,
kyun sooni si dil ki shehnayiyaan?
heiran kyun huye hei dharthee aasmaan,
kyun ruk jaathi badthee kadam...
jadoogari hei ya koi nashaa,
voh ehsaas hei kya vahi pyaar hei!

Chup chup aa rahi ye halki si hawaa
behthi hei hum donon pe yahaan...
jab saans lethe kabhi, toh voh chali
thoofaan saa, mere pyaare saajna...
jadoogari hei ya koi nashaa,
voh ehsaas hei, kya vahi pyaar hei!


Psst: This was a song composed by me in April 2005 ;-)
I thought to re-type it onto my Little Wing :-)

Happy Birthday to me ;-)

It's getting newer...but to be older...
A refreshing walk by the woods...
A sweeter tune to sing...
A lovelier love to love...
A brave step into the Fourth Dimension...
A stronger flight for the little wing...
A new candle on my Birthday cake...

:-) God's bounty of Grace lets me step into a new year...
Your Grace is sufficient for me, Lord!

:-)

from Taare Zameen Par

A Little Sweet,
A Little Sour
A Little Close Not Too Far
All I Need, All I Need
All I Need Is To Be Free

Let Me In Without A Shout
Let Me In I Have A Doubt
Let Me In Without A Shout
Let Me In I Have A Doubt
There Are More,Many More
Many Many Many More Like Me

Open Eyed How I Run
How I Run To The Other Side
Open Eyed How I Run
How I Run To The Other Side
Then I Glide Like A Bird
I Just Want To Be


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28OWkjoqzmg

Snippet

When life gives you tears, don't feel down. Tears show you how worthy smiles are.

Snippet

Solitude - the silent incessant shadow of life.

...

If ellipsis (...) is used to represent 'silence' of a person as in writing, I'm full of them right now ;-)
ah...I'd rather spell not those 7 letters...
Listening to its rhythm...unspoken but felt at fathom heart-depths...And I'm loving it... :-)

Aqua Tears

Aqua Tears
-Me

I know not whence I delved forth
Into my aquabode, nor do I know
The preciseness of my birth-hour.
All my blurred memory shows me
Is my first feeble stroke into water.
Mamma kissed my little cheeks,
Sacked me into the lone cradle
And swam by...
My neo-natal cries reached none
But the Holy Mothers serene.
They fed me, covered me safe and
I slept cozily in their lap, kindly they
Brought me up with like other juveniles.
Who named me Herring, but they?
Loved I life, it was merry and gay.
Loved I my mates, I wasn't the only orphan.
Loved I prayers, for then I talked to my Dad.
Loved I girlhood, mothers said I was pretty.
Loved I everything excepting the thoughts of
The nameless sinews that shared my blood.
Smooth were my days in the divine Haven,
Till time let me know I've grown big-
Big enough to think wide and wild,
Big enough to risk my tenderness,
Big enough to let the ugly Ginglys peep
Through my lone but gladsome glides.
My fins wear out fast in my struggles
But I wish not to give in.
No. I dare not give in. Sadly
I watch the narrow line that's between
Giving in and giving out.
Thanks Dad, you've left me with a bit
Something worthy to give and use-
If filial threads not any-,
Indeed the oil is slimy.
But the line is very narrow, Dad!
There I struggle-
Wriggle, wriggle and wriggle
Along that very narrow line,
My war-glides will go on guess
Until the Ultimate sigh,
I swim on,
Touched but untouched.

HELP:
1. Herring is an oily fish of the genus Clupea found in the shallow, temperate waters of the North Pacific and the North Atlantic oceans, including the Baltic Sea. Predator fishes like whales, sharks, ginglys, etc feed on them. It is an important economic fish.
2.Gingly is a nurse shark (Ginglymostoma Cirratum), which lives on the bottom around reefs and in bays and lagoons. It eats small fish and crustaceans.

Felix sit annus novus! :-)

Time in its mighty flight once again lifts the feeble ourselves to a brand new year. An eventful year of surprises, successes and smiles has just passed by. An equally joyous and mournful annum-2009. It gifted me with my much awaited sister-in-law Sonia. 2009 but took away to eternity our Sabna. No regrets, no complaints on this moment of thanksgiving to my Lord!

May 2010 be a milestone in the chronicle of our life. I'm feeling thrilled and energised at the Will of my Lord to let my life-thread not to be cut off yet. Special resolutions- not any, if you ask me. But yeah, some conscious efforts to let the past errors not repeat. Just a heart full of love, prayers, hopes and dreams for the unseen, unheard and unknown days yet to come. Surrendering completely to the Planner of my life. Flying on and on, to soar the heights or depths that He wishes me to reach.

Wishing everyone a blessed 2010 !!

Cheers,
Little Wing :-)